All my life i have been overweight. Mostly thought of it as something I could never overcome. I am now 22 years old and considered morbidly obese. I'm not going to make excuses for myself. I would eat out of boredom, eat my feelings, and eat things that were bad for me in excess. The problem got worse when I lost my baby (Most likely due to my obesity). I couldn't handle the depression I stopped eating for a while and then something in my brain switched and I started eating everything in sight for comfort. In about 6 months I easily put on 60 pounds. Nothing was more depressing than that but instead of realizing I had a problem and fixing it I continued to eat more. In Febuary 2010 I weighed 475 pounds and i was a size 34 pants. I had never weighed anywhere close to that in my life and it scared me. I was close to 500 pounds and it disgusted me. I started trying to eat healthier and keep my portions smaller and went to the gym sparacticly. It seemed to work and I could fit into the jeans I had be trying to fit into for months. When I moved out to Colorado in April I weighed 442 pounds. A major success but I didn't feel any different. In august I weighed 432 and decided to start the hcg diet. It's now October and I now weigh 382.4 and now I wear a size 28 pant. I still didnt realize a big difference till I put the 2 pictures on my blog side by side. You can deffinately see a difference. I see 2 completely different people. Is putting all of this on the internet easy? Hell no it's humiliating but it keeps me accountable for what I am doing. I never want to reach anywhere near 400 again. I want to be happy and healthy and able to have children without complications because of my weight. I want guys to judge me for my personality instead of looking over me because of my size. I just want a life of semi-normalcy where I can shop at department stores instead of specialty stores for clothes. I'm on my way there but am still lost in a sea of doubt. It's hard to suddenly convince yourself you can do something when you have a whole lifetime of telling yourself you can't. One of my biggest goals is to lose enough weight to where I can ride a horse. I'm getting close. As soon as I hit 375 I have lost 100 pound in a year. What a wonderful day that will be. And then the next goal is 350. And I'm going to make it. Cause in a world weight obsessed people I'm striving to be thin...
