Conflicted but optimistic

So as of today being my 6th day of the 500 calorie diet I have lost 16.6 pounds and my weight loss percentage is 4.03. For one week I think that is amazing, but in the back of my head I keep thinking that isn't enough because I have so much to lose. It's kind of frustrating. When I reach 375 that will be the lowest weight I have been in 7 years. I think I'm just anxious to feel that. The lowest weight I remember being was when I was 16 and weighed 350, that is my goal for this time around. I know that weight might seem to be a lot for the average person but that was when I felt my most confident. I went to live with my Grandma weighing 395 which is what I am now and in six months I was 350 which I can't tell you how amazing that felt. This time I hope that weight comes off quicker, actually I'm pretty positive it will given this last week of weight loss. The last time I did Hcg I won't lie I cheated a lot, but I still lost weight so I didn't see any harm in it... but this time I'm going to put my all into it because I deserve to be happy and it always seems to a overweight chick that happiness comes in a lower pant size. Which is probably not very healthy to think but oh well. So this time around with hcg is totally different I think the drops have more hormone in them or something. I feel that my body thinks that I am pregnant. Things that would happen during pregnancy are happening now like in the chest area. Also having to pee constantly but that can be attributed to the massive water and tea intake. I'm also spacey and loopy like I was when I was pregnant. I'm very easy to distract and easy tasks seem to take way longer due to the distractions. My energy is there but very mellowed. I don't know if I like the feeling of being pregnant when there is not an actual baby involved. But I'm loving the weight loss. It's kinda like pressures are being lifted from my shoulders. That's a nice feeling. This week I started the American Fork biggest loser. They weighed us in on Thursday and we will be meeting our trainer on Tuesday. I'm kind of excited but at the same time apprehensive I don't know what this will entail for me, or I will even be able to do it on the Hcg. Working out a lot isn't really advised on this diet but I'm going to try it out to see where I stand and if I feel strong enough to do it. Hcg has a way of making you feel a little weak which is understandable given the calorie intake and how much your body is working to get rid of the fat reserves. I'm just going to hold my own as long as I can, and who knows I may speed up the process. So.... Cravings ya I'm having some of those... But not for fattening foods like heavens I just want freaking zucchini and beets oh how I miss the beets. But I'm holding strong for now. I also having been having weird dreams about me cheating on my diet and I wake up feeling so guilty I had these dreams last time to but I thought it was normal at that point given my obsession with the food network. I having been watching the food network this time but I am still having these dreams it's rather weird to say the least. Tomorrow will be my last day this week and then I start a new one hopefully my weight loss will continue as it has this past week that would be more than fantastic anyway I'm off I will post when I can.

You may call me a big fat cheater!

So yesterday I totally cheated I won’t even deny it… I dipped my strawberries in yogurt, and it was good. The guilt I felt afterward affected me long after my taste buds forgot the sweet taste that is yogurt. I feel that I have let people down and not only myself. I wouldn’t normally tell on myself but this blog is all about being open and honest with other people and myself through this weight loss journey. So I admit it… I cheated. Also yesterday I didn’t drink very much water and I think those two things kinda stunted my weightloss. So yeah, not feeling that great about myself but time to brush it off because tomorrow is a brand new day full of brand new choices and challenges. I forgive myself it’s alright I just will try harder next time not to let it happen.

Hcg Day !

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Begining pictures for hcg round 2

Hcg diet!!! Day before loading day!